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Halloween and Marauder Junior

Last year on Halloween, I decided during the middle of the day to go see the remake of Carrie by myself, and went. This year on Halloween, my mom is coming over so I can take a nap, after which I'm taking my seven-week-old daughter to go get her picture taken in her Halloween costume. She's going to be a pirate.

Marauder Junior has huge eyes, frequent hiccups, Mr. Marauder's detached earlobes and long eyelashes, my long toes, not much hair on the top of her head and a whole lot in the back, tiny little pink lips that made me understand for the first time what a "Cupid's-bow mouth" looks like, baby acne, a short middle finger on her left hand which requires a splint to help her learn to fully lift it, and is incredibly adorable. It still feels weird that I'm actually someone's mom. (Right now as I'm typing, she's in a sling on my chest and trying to figure out if she wants to fall asleep or not.) I had hellish postpartum depression for the first couple of weeks after she was born. It didn't help that:

1. I was recovering from a C-section and wasn't allowed to go up and down stairs more than strictly necessary, or lift anything over ten pounds.
2. I was hugely sleep-deprived.
3. Our heater quit working and Mr. Marauder was up fixing it in the middle of the night.
4. Our cat ate part of a stargazer lily and had to be rushed to the emergency vet's for charcoal treatments and IV fluids.
5. I found out about the short middle finger in the middle of the night when Marauder Junior was a week old - it took us that long to think to stretch out the fingers she kept curling in - and my mind jumped to a worst-possible-scenario of Marauder Junior, age five or so, crying because she couldn't do things everybody else could and other kids were mean to her. (The orthopedic surgeon we saw says she's seen kids with similar fingers who type and play the piano.)
6. The aftereffects of the Oxycodone they gave me in the hospital totally messed up my digestive system.
7. My hormones were all over the place.
8. It was my first time ever taking care of a baby. (This is what happens when you're an only child who grew up in a rural area with no one around to babysit.)
9. Mr. Marauder's dad was coming from out of state to visit with his new girlfriend, who I'd never met, and I was anxious about having a total stranger come into my house and meet my newborn child when I felt awful and the house was a complete mess. (Still haven't met her - she decided to stay home and Mr. Marauder's dad came by himself.)
10. I couldn't drive for the first week after the C-section and felt trapped in the house.
11. I couldn't even knit, because I knit with one needle propped against my abdomen and I was afraid of poking the incision.

Luckily, Mr. Marauder was home for the first few weeks - he got a week of paid family leave, then took a week of vacation time, then worked from home for two weeks after that before going back full-time. Also luckily, my mom was able to come over for at least a few hours on most weekdays, which she's still doing. So incredibly thankful for both of them.

The more chances I have to do the things I did before Marauder Junior was born, the better I feel. It really helps now that I'm finally off weight restrictions and able to carry Marauder Junior in the car seat, and that stairs aren't an issue anymore and I can watch Netflix again. (We have a split-level house and one TV downstairs. Marauder Junior's first words are going to be either "Magic always comes at a price" or "Previously on Pretty Little Liars." My mom watched soap operas when I was a baby and I turned out all right, although TV exposure did lead me, at the age of two, to notice a black woman in the grocery store and exclaim, "Oprah!")

Biggest surprises from Marauder Junior's birth and the days following:

1. The actual C-section was easy and pain-free compared to the recovery. I'm going for VBAC next time if at all possible.
2. The doctor had to cut me slightly wider because Marauder Junior's head got stuck on the way out.
3. Oxycodone is heinous and made me throw up water all over the bed.
4. The incision was gray until recently and is now pink.
5. Marauder Junior weighed a whole pound and a half less at birth than I did.
6. On the second night after Marauder Junior was born, I was so tired that I fell asleep in the middle of a sentence and then, when I woke up two seconds later, couldn't remember what the first part of the sentence had been.

Favorite baby milestones so far, in order that they happened:

1. The umbilical cord stump finally falling off after something like twenty days. No more sponge baths! (Haven't been able to bring myself to throw the stump away yet. My mom still has mine in an envelope somewhere.)
2. Moving from two middle-of-the-night feedings to one late-evening feeding, one middle-of-the-night feeding, and one early-morning feeding. (I'm going to be so thrilled when she starts sleeping through the night. SO. THRILLED.)
3. Marauder Junior learning to smile in response to other people smiling at her. (Question most likely to provoke a smile: "Did you make poops?")
4. Today! First post-utero holiday!

Happy Halloween, everyone. :D

Comments

marauderthesn
Nov. 4th, 2014 03:48 pm (UTC)
Yep, I could probably post a couple soon. :)
aome
Nov. 5th, 2014 04:03 am (UTC)
I got permission from a friend to C&P the contents of one of my favorite posts of hers, from back when her first child (now 11) was a newborn. (Post is locked or I'd link you directly.) Thought you might appreciate it. :)



it never occured to me exactly how crazy it is to be a mom, how your time gets chopped into tiny little segments in between feedings and diaper changes, how you suddenly never have four whole hours at a stretch to sit and do anything.

the list of things to do every day doesn't seem very huge, but when faced with these tiny segments of time, everything becomes so much harder to arrange. for example,


List A: things to do every day which require mental energy and baby shuffling

shower and get dressed (shower optional)
use the bathroom
eat breakfast
eat lunch
empty diaper pail
do laundry
fold laundry
do dishes
put away dishes
take out trash
put recyclables outside
pay bills
get groceries
pull something together for dinner

List B: things to do with the baby
feed baby ( x 6 )
change baby ( x 10 )
change baby clothes due to 1) spitup, 2) poop, 3) pee
play with baby on floor
read to baby
watch baby video
dance with baby
bathe baby
bounce around while baby cries
etc.

List C: circumstances which allow me to do things in List A
baby is in bouncy chair
baby is in swing
baby is sleeping in carseat
baby is watching mobile in crib
baby is sleeping in crib (HA! right.)


so what you do is, take an item from list A, and then try to fit it in between two of the items from list B during one of the items from list C. repeat many times throughout day until husband arrives home from work and wife shouts "hey! DADDY'S HOME" and hands baby to husband and runs into another room to take care of some vital yet neglected task such as using the bathroom or eating before passing out.

it does make you appreciate the little details. for example, now if i can make it out of the house and to the grocery store and i am wearing clothes without spitup on them, and my hair is sort of combed, and the baby has a clean diaper and is also wearing spitup-free clothes, and we have both eaten food within the hour and no one is crying, i chalk up a major achievement for the day.

this is not to be said that i am not having fun. i am enjoying every single burp and smile and every reading of green eggs and ham. but wow, talk about a lesson in time management.

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